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Art is Shit

by Andy the Doorbum

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Burn Barrel 00:49
Passion's not enough to save the world... So fuck it. Do you wanna buy some drugs instead? We'll go in halfs on what we both want. And if only everyone could act that way... Then the world, it would be saved. Sedate, sedate, sedate. It would be saved.
She comes heralding the great false hope With rubies stitched into her coat And lesions on her feet. Oh, but that snake, he's always gonna find A passage to her insides. Those eggs are what he eats. So says the instinct in his teeth... Swallows them whole. He takes his time. Lays fat out in the warm sunshine. His tongue's been rubbing on my cheek Preventing all attempts to speak On what may be a sore surprise... When between her legs she finds... These dirty hands of mine. Oh, and he smiled as he defiled my hand. Reminiscent of that quicksand You call an orifice. Sweet beginnings lead to bitter ends. Just ask that snake and all his friends... None of them will be missed. Swallowed them whole. He took his time. Laid fat out in the warm sunshine. Her thigh's been pressed against my cheek Preventing all attempts to speak And what she will soon realize... Lies covered in her slime... These dirty hands of mine.
Jack Ketch 01:46
Make amends to you, Not that I care. My compassion is akin to your life. It just happens to be there. You're wearing your skin so tight like its never gonna rot away. And when I hit the cemetery, I'd prefer if it were said... "Here lies the electric impulse that happened to float in his head." I'm wearing my skin so tight cause I know it will fall off one day. You're wearing your skin so tight like its never gonna rot away.
I held my breath, the silver waterbugs arrived Flashing hints of the rainbow. There is a warmth that only be these means, you'll find. When darkness comes and swallows your sight whole. I put my back against the door and down I slide So I have nowhere left to go. I meet my friends down where the ember nearly dies. The kodiak, the possum, and the crow. Deep inside the Earth a fire groans Where there used to be a mine. The people left it to devour the road. And there's enough coal down there burning it will always be alive. I'm real bad about finding mountains to climb If they will alter what I know. When you find warmth, the only limit then is time. The parasite, the spider, and the toad. And deep inside the Earth a fire groans Where there used to be a mine. The people left it to devour the road. And there's enough coal down there burning Oh, its never gonna die.
There's a man in that tree He's been yelling to me About women only he and I can see. Rubbing oil in their warts. they are healers, of sorts. Distorted. Deformed. Like a dead baby horse. Oh, child go tell the wolves. There's a home by the train Looks exactly the same As it did ten years back it seems as though one day Those who there, tried to live Well, they up and just quit. Left the food in the fridge. Their clothes in the closet. Oh, what happened to them? There's a man in that tree He's been whispering to me About visions only he and I can see. Hide my dim little corpse. I'm a leper, of sorts. Distorted. Deformed. Like an armadillo. Oh, torn by the coyotes.
The next time summer comes that bitch will be brutal. And I'll be sweating out my stomach into my hand. Its either that or the death camps... Where they sing praise to the winds and the rains and the thunderer. Their worship will make them relentless. Devouring them like a famine Then somehow shitting a kiss. The next time summer bends down and gets herself distracted... We'll wait for the perfect moment to steal all the children of the Earth. The next time summer comes, my thirst will be covered in rust. And I'll be weighing out my thalamus in my shoe. If I can remember to... experience anything new... I never will again. I can't stop sweating. (I'll be waiting like kids at the bus stop and goddamn, its raining. The river will surely rise up.)
Faith Heal't 04:06
He grabbed a piece of red hot iron bout four feet long. He threw it, drew his hand back, but the meat was gone. So he put his glove back on and he worked until his shift was done. Blew that fire out his arm. Healed and never left a scar.
Grampa (#2) 02:06
Once in a while, The only things pumping blood to your brain Are the veins on your face. But you still manage to plant a field of potatoes. Oh, but that's not God. That's just your will despite what they'll preach to me at your funeral. I'm not a fucking two year old anymore. Someday you'll be dying. And so will I. And so will everyone. There's no two ways around it And there will be no exceptions. Just live until you don't. Push it until it won't. And if there's no God, The only sad part's that I'll never see you again. I'm not a fucking two year old. Everything ends.
I feel like an old animal Who has no idea what to do. Surprised that I can even recall All these words that we have evolved up to. They're crawling out of my face... I feel like a bomb on a chest. I feel like being all I can be. The way is not well lit But an explosion would light up something, at least. And it would start with my face.
By matter of my ethics You are fucked beyond reason. You collapse on the stairwell Oops, you fell into place. Suckered into waking up...mutated. Hey, stool pigeon. When it comes to this and those Keep your beak away from it. Hey, stool pigeon.
Dei(m)ty 02:37
(Samples were taken from unmarked thrift store tapes) I want to live and expand and create and build and leave my mark and affect the world with my presence. And then I look down at the Earth from a plane, and I just want everyone like me to die.
Male Calico 02:12
Me and my friends, we got some angels we won't talk about. Down to the fire pit to sort them out. Rivers of gold laced with traces of some illegal substance Doesn't matter which one or what its called. We've done them all. And I'll walk until there's nothing left to see. And should my weary heart stop beating tomorrow Well, take a drink from my Daddy's bottle And set him free. Me and my devils got some friends lingering in the swamp. Been down there ever since the atom bomb. Rivers of shit and radiation. A septic substance doesn't matter which one or what its worth... We were here first. And I'll walk until there's nothing left to see. And should this weary heart stop beating tomorrow Well, take a drink from my Daddy's bottle And set him free. Put down that shotgun and come tangle with the mess you've made. How many years you got left, anyway?
That winding down plane's like the roar of a train Raising up its voice steadily in the dark night While the track side town sleeps through the sunrise. They miss the whole thing, They're used to that old train... Oh, amphetamines, how have you been? Oh, narcotics, how the time passes... Its all coming back now, hallucinogen. I'll marry the first girl that spits in my face When I say that she looks like a bottle. I'm addicted to plenty of things And they all somehow involve consumption. Bring the SWAT team to take me away Cause I am well versed in the cost of my freedom. And the exit ramp towns... They see the whole thing. Every last one of us crammed in our cars Running from something... And driving away.
Well, hey hey girl, you got the look of a mole Don't know where you're going but you're gone. And, hey hey I, I won't live much longer My heart wasn't built to last. Heart disease runs in my family. One day I will die from it... Oh shit. Well, hey hey girl, where'd you get those diamonds? It don't matter, you got them on. And, hey hey life, it strikes quick like a viper Oh, oh, and it swells up so fast. Heart disease runs in my family. One day I will die from it... Oh shit.
Call in the Sea Beggars. An answer to your inquiry. Every priest they caught, they ate his heart. Bless this food, Lord. Strip the prisoners clothes. Make him straddle that rope And they will pull it back and forth. All hail the Sea Beggars. In response to torture Every monk they caught, they tied them up. Used them as human bumpers. Bless this ship, Lord. Whenever she runs ashore Well, that's what the bodies are for Tied to the side to protect the hull.
Open up the medicine chest And empty out your rations. Sometimes it takes double the dose To keep from feeling awkward. The Fifteen year old maid is pregnant. He promised her that he'd marry her if his wife somehow died... And as her doctor her carried out her abortion as she sat there, still. His wife became conveniently ill. Open up the medicine chest, Edward Pritchard. Her mother's coming to nurse her to health. You better make her sick, too. And before long they'll both be dead. You'll have the coffin unscrewed so you can kiss the lips you poisoned. You'll be the last man publicly hanged in your country and one hundred thousand people will be there for your last breath... So, open up the medicine chest.
You took your finger out from down my throat And now I'm feeling lost without it. Hanging around like my tonsils. Get your arm out of my breathing hole Or else I'll learn to eat around it. Never again will I choose your soft skin Over the hunger that's quivering my jaws... I promise. Hanging around like my tonsils. I promise, my mouth never gets too full. And I swear on your living mother's grave The enzymes that my spit contains Will break down everything I've ate. Jaws. Slobbery Jaws.
They came along and got me. I should have known that it would be The furthest thing from tenderness That I'd ever been shown, or seen. And so it goes, like hills of green. It could just be the Dramamine but everything seems fucked. And you're beautiful in this light. You're like a drug that I haven't tried yet. I'd think of anything just to get close to your skull. Throw your idols into the waterfall. I walked down that dirt road. The best thing I'd done in eighteen fucking years. I remember feeling like a God. Pull your idols back out of the river and dry them off.
They pulled over my car. We all lost a lot of blood over it. We fled down the dirt road. One of us never came back. Oh god, I'm sorry that you were so young. When I crossed the old bridge I dumped you like a drug stash. I fired off a few rounds. You made my escape flawless. Oh god, I'm sorry that it was so easy. Told your daddy you'd think of me always. I will never tell him I am sorry. When I get back I'll strike him down For ever thinking his daughter foolish... For riding with me. Now that they've surrounded my room I'm acting like I will cooperate. In truth, I don't hope to live long. I hope them boys out there don't either. Oh god, I'm sorry your old man couldn't come.
This is a love song for cigarettes Because I need them. Addictions are better than mouths to feed So I'll be the one to feed them. And the man standing in your living room Warned me not to say this But my head's been fucked up way too long to find it Within myself to be embarrassed. And I must admit that I blushed a bit At something so fucking hopeless. Though it may have been the saddest thing That he had ever witnessed. So I'll be sweet to him until he rots away. I will be lenient so long as it suits me. But if he falls asleep he'll never wake again. I've got this plastic bag with the power to hush anything. Especially men trapped in your living room. And he said yesterday was the happiest day He'll ever want to forget But this morning just got worse and worse And tomorrow's not even here yet. So we talked on love and substances That convert the heart to an addict. And it all hit home quite perfectly When he bummed my last cigarette from me. So I will hide from him until he comes this way. Then I will kiss his mouth with a ceramic ashtray. And if that puts him out he'll never wake again. Its time he learned that love and addiction can conquer anything. Especially men who discover me in their living room.
Trepanation 02:48
First by flood, then by disease. Send your letters and ashes to me. Mountain top cemetery In the perfect display of atonement. Nothing higher than mountain tops. And in the Spring the grubs will climb up from their logs. Drinking dandelion wine. Slaughtering hogs. And in the Fall the air is crisp. The trees, they'll moan. Breaking wrists with rounded stones. Life, the ultimate offering. I act as if only I possess it. Lay your head down on my knee. Knock a hole so the demons will exit. Take me up there and throw me off. And on the Solstice, oh, my axe... I'll worship her. In the tangle briar patch the sun will blur. And when the snow melts off that hill The ark will float. Bailing water out the boat...
Albert 02:05
Owl bird, Owl bird. Why are you staring in the window? Why are you staring in the mirror? Why are you looking at my soul? You don't know but I'll be picking branches. Why are your eyes a-looking hollow? Its about time. We gotta roll, we gotta roll right now. We won't know, and we don't know it anyhow. We'll be sucked, we got sucked underneath the plow. Reap, sow. Scarecrow, scarecrow. Why is your straw on my women? Oh what? You know, well, you can have them. And let's just call that sharing. In the morning you'll be picking branches. Oh what? You know, well, you can have it... All of that gold. We gotta roll, we gotta roll right now. We won't know, and we don't know it anyhow. We'll be sucked, we got sucked underneath the plow. Reap, sow. Hey there, Mary, Mary Mother of Confusion. Do you expect me to know what I'm doing? Well, good luck with that. You mistook me for a greater power. But don't worry I still promise to cower When I'm in your presence. It looks good when the grass is brown. We don't know, but we're working on strapping it down. So swing a hatchet when you're coming to town. Heave, ho.
This one's for every single one that ever cowered Behind something that wouldn't conceal you Like a bullet proof vest or a gas station counter. Paid poorly to eat someone's shit... Well, that's about as good as you'll get. Thanks alot for everything, it meant so much At least when it was fresh. Whatever it is you want, I'll bet I can guess. I've seen the better part of the Norwegian Sea And never will it mean quite as much to me As it did when it carried my ship... And what I do don't concern you, so I'm an asshole If I won't apologize... And I never will. You could be doing alot better things with your time Than slurping up what's left of mine.
Rock n' Roll is dead. Found her beside the road Now she sleeps in the dumpster. She's the best friend that I ever fed. But that won't bring her back I hope she didn't suffer. And there's nothing at all that will ever change this... Because Rock n' Roll is dead. Now my sweetheart is gone All that's left is her uneaten food. Let us make you your last little bed. That's the least we could do Little girl, we'll all miss you. And there's nothing at all that will ever change this... She's resting her sweet little head. Rock n' Roll is dead. What else is there left to be said? Rock n' Roll is dead.


"Art is Shit" is the third Andy the Doorbum full length release.


released April 10, 2009

Written and Recorded by Andy the Doorbum.
Performed by Andy the Doorbum except where noted.


all rights reserved



Andy the Doorbum

Andy the Doorbum has been writing and recording his own music since he was 9 years old.
His discography ranges from eccentric lo-fi caterwauling to lush self-recorded pieces described as "filling a darkening void with a pitch black effort." All of this is done with the goal of finding the beauty in the ugly reality of the world. Growth from upheaval. Art for survival. Creativity or extinction. ... more

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